would you? even for quarter of a million?
he has bags under his eyes
mean eyes
and jowls
such jowls as you wouldn't believe
they
wobble
but not in a loose kind of way
more
heavy
thick
and all i can think is
yuck
how could she?
how could she want to sleep with that?
he has a small mean mouth
somewhere in that vast face
and she
she must have kissed that mouth
i suppose
how could she?
i don't understand
really
really don't understand
so we discussed it the other morning
and all the girls
(after we'd finished saying yuck)
decided
it was power
wealth and power
plus he's probably
a pushy bastard
the blokes on the other hand
decided it was because
he has a fourteen inch cock
yeah
right
First North American Serial Rights belong to Pemmican Press
would you? even for quarter of a million?
Moderator: Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
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Catherine Edmunds
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Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
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Firstly, well done on getting this piece published Delph. Congratulations mate 
I simply love it. I'll let you explain 'if needs be', who it's about, but I think it's a powerful work that packs more than a few solid punches in the right direction.
I could get all idealogical here and say it's representative of gender difference between females and males but that's obvious and there's so much more happening in this piece. The levels of disbelief you convey in the 'extras' (other female characters), namely their shock and horror that anyone could sleep with or cuddle up to someone who is so clearly a 'gulpin'* are very well constructed and conjour (at least for this reader) an image of a truly horrible person... Given that I know who that person is, I find it even more of a joy to read. He's a cock, I'll grant you that. But, hardly a biggun lol
..!
The last few lines (written to be representative of certain male opinions) are also a great observation on how a lot of men behave. Tossers the lot of them (and I've even been one myself in the past lol)
...
Ah well. We live, we learn, we grow and wise up, I guess / hope.
One final point and spoken from this male's own perspective would be on the sheer waffle men do indeed deliver in either office or workplace environments. A 14 inch cock..! Hahahahhahaahhaha ... That sounds fucking painful 
..! Isn't the average between 6 to 8 inches? Don't feel obliged to answer that one Delph ... Buying trousers must be an absolute scream for him (quite literally)...
Awesome writing mate. Highly entertaining as well. Thanks for sharing it with us on Sensitize ...
* Derry term for loud-mouthed, over indulged person and perfect for describing many politicians...
I simply love it. I'll let you explain 'if needs be', who it's about, but I think it's a powerful work that packs more than a few solid punches in the right direction.
I could get all idealogical here and say it's representative of gender difference between females and males but that's obvious and there's so much more happening in this piece. The levels of disbelief you convey in the 'extras' (other female characters), namely their shock and horror that anyone could sleep with or cuddle up to someone who is so clearly a 'gulpin'* are very well constructed and conjour (at least for this reader) an image of a truly horrible person... Given that I know who that person is, I find it even more of a joy to read. He's a cock, I'll grant you that. But, hardly a biggun lol
..! The last few lines (written to be representative of certain male opinions) are also a great observation on how a lot of men behave. Tossers the lot of them (and I've even been one myself in the past lol)
... Ah well. We live, we learn, we grow and wise up, I guess / hope.
One final point and spoken from this male's own perspective would be on the sheer waffle men do indeed deliver in either office or workplace environments. A 14 inch cock..! Hahahahhahaahhaha
... That sounds fucking painful ..! Isn't the average between 6 to 8 inches? Don't feel obliged to answer that one Delph ... Buying trousers must be an absolute scream for him (quite literally)... Awesome writing mate. Highly entertaining as well. Thanks for sharing it with us on Sensitize
... * Derry term for loud-mouthed, over indulged person and perfect for describing many politicians...
Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.
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My writing is not covered by Creative Commons policy and may not be republished without permission. All rights reserved. All Sensitize © Arts sponsorship donations and postal inquiries to:
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Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.
ASIN B00L1RS0UI
My writing is not covered by Creative Commons policy and may not be republished without permission. All rights reserved. All Sensitize © Arts sponsorship donations and postal inquiries to:
Louis P. Burns
42 Farland Way
DERRY
N. Ireland.
BT48 0RS
Telephone (UK): 028 71219225
Click here to Join Sensitize © Arts via Facebook or to contact the site owner: Louis P. Burns aka Lugh with any forum hosting or site related inquiries.
-
Catherine Edmunds
- artist, poet & writer
- Posts: 428
- Joined: Fri May 05, 2006 8:05 pm
- Location: north east england
- Contact:
-
Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
- site owner, media producer & writer
- Posts: 2186
- Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2006 7:32 am
- Location: Derry, Ireland
- Contact:
Bloke in a chatroom talking about big choppers? He's obviously gay. Give him my address and tell him I like chocolates and flowersdelph_ambi wrote:Nice analysis Lugh - cheers
By the way, regarding the question of... err... proportions; that section of the poem came out of a discussion of the situation in a chatroom. That's what one guy said. Honest. Who am I to disagree?
...Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.
ASIN B00L1RS0UI
My writing is not covered by Creative Commons policy and may not be republished without permission. All rights reserved. All Sensitize © Arts sponsorship donations and postal inquiries to:
Louis P. Burns
42 Farland Way
DERRY
N. Ireland.
BT48 0RS
Telephone (UK): 028 71219225
Click here to Join Sensitize © Arts via Facebook or to contact the site owner: Louis P. Burns aka Lugh with any forum hosting or site related inquiries.
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.
ASIN B00L1RS0UI
My writing is not covered by Creative Commons policy and may not be republished without permission. All rights reserved. All Sensitize © Arts sponsorship donations and postal inquiries to:
Louis P. Burns
42 Farland Way
DERRY
N. Ireland.
BT48 0RS
Telephone (UK): 028 71219225
Click here to Join Sensitize © Arts via Facebook or to contact the site owner: Louis P. Burns aka Lugh with any forum hosting or site related inquiries.
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