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remembrance
Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 6:03 pm
by Catherine Edmunds
dragonfly
guide me
through dreams
grey mists lift
over channeled waters
reed bed stillness
look deep
remember the nymph
slow climbing to freedom
distant swathes of cedar
trail the water's edge
reflections bleed
fly now
to the white beach
tall grasses
then die
dream of the time before
such gifts
ah, such gifts
Re: remembrance
Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 3:44 am
by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
delph_ambi wrote:dragonfly
guide me
through dreams
grey mists lift
over channeled waters
reed bed stillness
look deep
remember the nymph
slow climbing to freedom
distant swathes of cedar
trail the water's edge
reflections bleed
fly now
to the white beach
tall grasses
then die
dream of the time before
such gifts
ah, such gifts
Very smooth Delph
...
I find this poem quite transcendental. It's uplifting and it travels*, celebrating the circle of life, death and rebirth, holding the awareness that; as long as views like these are caught and recounted by us all, they'll exist for us all, and can be further passed on and shared by us all in times of 'ebb' or when energies are low. It took me a few readings to establish this but when I figured that out I felt revitalised and if I may say so? 'Sensitized'.
It's the imagery you've drawn upon here and how each line could read like subtitles across a screen on a slideshow of these images. Perhaps recalling personal moments you have had with nature. Is it possible you have already caught these as oil paintings, photographs and sketches, given that you also work within these mediums? That would be really cool Delph...
One small observation I have is that as I read this poem I found myself replacing the word;
'lift' with the word;
'rise' in the second stanza. I'm not sure why but it felt more fluidic and free-flowing to me. Please note that that is just a preference talking and in no way meant as a criticism. This is wonderful work.
Thank you for sharing
...
* I believe this would fit in perfectly with Psi's; Traveller's Tales section here on Sensitize.
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:13 am
by Catherine Edmunds
Thanks, Lugh. I'm going to keep 'lift' because I like the rhyme with 'mists' and 'stillness'.
This poem started life as a great long wordy monstrosity, based on a photograph of a bear in a river in British Columbia. Over the last couple of years it's been pruned significantly, lost the bear, gained the dragonfly. This latest incarnation is my favourite. Glad you liked it.
