how
will you find the centre
if you can't find the end of your dreams?
you wander in the wilderness of life
but never find out who you are
or what it means
you
can cruise the deepest oceans
carousel on beams of light
you have the right to crawl
into your nightmares and
exorcise the ghosts with
words of love
sweet words of love
forget
these earthly bonds
slip out into space
and float upon whatever
calms your soul
or sets you free
your
astral body
walks and talks
in corridors of wisdom
you are free
understand this knowledge
and the balance that you seek
can really be
Dance into the dazzle
raining from this chandelier
Can you see, me?
I'm a million universes
unlocking all I hold
You have the key
You hold the key
Dance into the dazzle
raining from this chandelier
Can you see, me?
I'm a million universes
unlocking all I hold
You have the key
You hold the key
So
Don't wander in the wilderness of life
without me
When I wrote the above lyrics - Communion (originally a stream-of-consciousness-poem), I was 23 years old, living and working in the Eastend of London and playing rythym guitar for Famous Blue Raincoat, with my bandmate, keyboardist, programmer, singer/songwriter and co-founder; Andy West ...
I was stationed at Stratford British Railways Relayer's Depot but on the Leyton Depot skill's course for first advanced flag's / lookout man and track knowledge) and was obviously cannabis-free while in attendance. Perhaps it was the detoxing or a heightened sense of awareness because I was back in an academic environment (learning is something I've always loved), I was going through some form of cathartic wheel of change which at the time terrified me because I believed I was having a nervous breakdown. With retrospect I now see it as an awakening from and crawling out from under other people's problems. The lives of others that I had been too young to walk away from were now falling away. Individuality beckoned.
I had been an avid reader of science fiction and mysticism and my ladyfriend back then (Sue) would pick me up books at the library whenever she went for herself. In one book, I can't remember which, I discovered the whole topic of the Tulpa. A belief that we can make our thoughts manifest and send them out into the world. In that book's instance the tulpa had gone renegade and become a destructive force living a life of its own (that's just a prompt so that if anyone is reading this and knows what the book was called, they might have the good grace to join Sensitize and tell me) ...
Communion was written on the doorstep of the Leyton Depot skill's course sheds, East London, late Summer 1989, on my lunchbreak in roughly 25 minutes. There was a little bit of editing (verse repetition for rhythm afterwards on the bus home to Upton Park. When I shared it with Andy he initially stated it was 'a bit out there' but when I suggested he use sitar sampling further life was breathed into the piece. The song evolved later, so melody and all music in it is the work of Andy West and Communion has gone on to live a life of its own. By that I mean that many friends have asked me to perform it as a poem and over the years it has developed. At times when I am stressed I recite it to myself like a mantra and can gladly report it gives me great inner peace and eventual clarity...
Further reading on the Tulpa can be found on Wikipedia if you click here.
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