Triolet
Moderator: Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
- Catherine Edmunds
- artist, poet & writer
- Posts: 428
- Joined: Fri May 05, 2006 8:05 pm
- Location: north east england
- Contact:
KILLING TIME
I’m killing time and writing rhyme
while waiting for the paint to dry.
I murdered him, and for my crime
I’m killing time and writing rhyme
disguising bloodstains, gore and slime.
Thick paint will hide my guilt. That’s why
I’m killing time and writing rhyme
while waiting for the paint to dry.
I’m killing time and writing rhyme
while waiting for the paint to dry.
I murdered him, and for my crime
I’m killing time and writing rhyme
disguising bloodstains, gore and slime.
Thick paint will hide my guilt. That’s why
I’m killing time and writing rhyme
while waiting for the paint to dry.
- Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
- site owner, media producer & writer
- Posts: 2186
- Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2006 7:32 am
- Location: Derry, Ireland
- Contact:
^ That is feckin' brilliant Delph ...delph_ambi wrote:KILLING TIME
I’m killing time and writing rhyme
while waiting for the paint to dry.
I murdered him, and for my crime
I’m killing time and writing rhyme
disguising bloodstains, gore and slime.
Thick paint will hide my guilt. That’s why
I’m killing time and writing rhyme
while waiting for the paint to dry.
Excellent comedy too mate ...
Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.
ASIN B00L1RS0UI
My writing is not covered by Creative Commons policy and may not be republished without permission. All rights reserved. All Sensitize © Arts sponsorship donations and postal inquiries to:
Louis P. Burns
42 Farland Way
DERRY
N. Ireland.
BT48 0RS
Telephone (UK): 028 71219225
Click here to Join Sensitize © Arts via Facebook or to contact the site owner: Louis P. Burns aka Lugh with any forum hosting or site related inquiries.
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.
ASIN B00L1RS0UI
My writing is not covered by Creative Commons policy and may not be republished without permission. All rights reserved. All Sensitize © Arts sponsorship donations and postal inquiries to:
Louis P. Burns
42 Farland Way
DERRY
N. Ireland.
BT48 0RS
Telephone (UK): 028 71219225
Click here to Join Sensitize © Arts via Facebook or to contact the site owner: Louis P. Burns aka Lugh with any forum hosting or site related inquiries.
-
- visitor
My friend was looking over my shoulder as I was reading this, and thought she'd have a go... she wasn't quite sure if it was essential to retain the same number of syllables in each line
Softest Angels
Soft mahogany pools of love
Brightly shining mirroring souls
Gaze joyfully upwards to those above
Soft mahogany pools of love
Purpose of living is giving thereof
Warming gently like glowing coals
Soft mahogany pools of love
Brightly shining mirroring souls
Softest Angels
Soft mahogany pools of love
Brightly shining mirroring souls
Gaze joyfully upwards to those above
Soft mahogany pools of love
Purpose of living is giving thereof
Warming gently like glowing coals
Soft mahogany pools of love
Brightly shining mirroring souls
- Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
- site owner, media producer & writer
- Posts: 2186
- Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2006 7:32 am
- Location: Derry, Ireland
- Contact:
That is absolutely beautiful. Your friend is a damn fine poet and wordsmith. I salute your friend ...psikottix wrote:My friend was looking over my shoulder as I was reading this, and thought she'd have a go... she wasn't quite sure if it was essential to retain the same number of syllables in each line
Softest Angels
Soft mahogany pools of love
Brightly shining mirroring souls
Gaze joyfully upwards to those above
Soft mahogany pools of love
Purpose of living is giving thereof
Warming gently like glowing coals
Soft mahogany pools of love
Brightly shining mirroring souls
Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.
ASIN B00L1RS0UI
My writing is not covered by Creative Commons policy and may not be republished without permission. All rights reserved. All Sensitize © Arts sponsorship donations and postal inquiries to:
Louis P. Burns
42 Farland Way
DERRY
N. Ireland.
BT48 0RS
Telephone (UK): 028 71219225
Click here to Join Sensitize © Arts via Facebook or to contact the site owner: Louis P. Burns aka Lugh with any forum hosting or site related inquiries.
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.
ASIN B00L1RS0UI
My writing is not covered by Creative Commons policy and may not be republished without permission. All rights reserved. All Sensitize © Arts sponsorship donations and postal inquiries to:
Louis P. Burns
42 Farland Way
DERRY
N. Ireland.
BT48 0RS
Telephone (UK): 028 71219225
Click here to Join Sensitize © Arts via Facebook or to contact the site owner: Louis P. Burns aka Lugh with any forum hosting or site related inquiries.
-
- human rights activist & writer
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2007 1:26 am
- Location: hemel hempstead, england
- Contact:
Okay I fess up, its was my poem that I made Psi post. And since Lugh was crazy enough to encourage me, I have chucked out two more, albeit very different topics.
Wasn't quite sure if this was the right place to keep posting Triolets, so if they need to be moved, feel free to move them.
How, where, why
Frustration, inaction, where do I start
Near full to bursting with unexplained thought
Empty but yearning, an unfulfilled heart
Frustration, inaction, where do I start
Unknowing, but wanting to own my own part
The planet spins onward and I am still fraught
Frustration, inaction, where do I start
Near full to bursting with unexplained thought
This is a very silly one, but Psi said he liked the rhythm of it...
Puppies
Cuddly, snugly bundles of scrummy
Squidgy and lovable, slightly damp nuzzles
Want to inhale them like sweet smell of honey
Cuddly, snugly bundles of scrummy
Silky and fluffy and soft as a bunny
Snuffly noses and whiskery muzzles
Cuddly, snugly bundles of scrummy
Squidgy and lovable, slightly damp nuzzles
I am not at all obsessed by my hounds, honest
Wasn't quite sure if this was the right place to keep posting Triolets, so if they need to be moved, feel free to move them.
How, where, why
Frustration, inaction, where do I start
Near full to bursting with unexplained thought
Empty but yearning, an unfulfilled heart
Frustration, inaction, where do I start
Unknowing, but wanting to own my own part
The planet spins onward and I am still fraught
Frustration, inaction, where do I start
Near full to bursting with unexplained thought
This is a very silly one, but Psi said he liked the rhythm of it...
Puppies
Cuddly, snugly bundles of scrummy
Squidgy and lovable, slightly damp nuzzles
Want to inhale them like sweet smell of honey
Cuddly, snugly bundles of scrummy
Silky and fluffy and soft as a bunny
Snuffly noses and whiskery muzzles
Cuddly, snugly bundles of scrummy
Squidgy and lovable, slightly damp nuzzles
I am not at all obsessed by my hounds, honest
- Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
- site owner, media producer & writer
- Posts: 2186
- Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2006 7:32 am
- Location: Derry, Ireland
- Contact:
Crazy doesn't even begin to describe me Truly ... I'm known as Lugh the Loop (in certain circles) <--- bad joke ...Truly wrote: Okay I fess up, its was my poem that I made Psi post. And since Lugh was crazy enough to encourage me, I have chucked out two more, albeit very different topics.
Yip. This is the right section Truly . It's a shame Delph's not around to give you proper feedback on these. Maybe Mike (danimik) will assist. For what it's worth; here are my thoughts:-Truly wrote: Wasn't quite sure if this was the right place to keep posting Triolets, so if they need to be moved, feel free to move them.
How, where, why
Frustration, inaction, where do I start
Near full to bursting with unexplained thought
Empty but yearning, an unfulfilled heart
Frustration, inaction, where do I start
Unknowing, but wanting to own my own part
The planet spins onward and I am still fraught
Frustration, inaction, where do I start
Near full to bursting with unexplained thought
Your first piece 'How, where, why' is positively wonderful. I really like the way it begins with a description of your feelings and unanswered questions; "Frustration, inaction, where do I start" . This sets the content and pace for the piece and as it progresses this unfolds so that by the time you get to the 5th line there is still an awareness of dilemma but a clarity and resolution is achieved namely knowing what you want; "Unknowing, but wanting to own my own part".
Harking back to my point about pace you then go on to write; "The planet spins onward and I am still fraught" which brings about images (at least for me) of the entire world moving but caught in similar frustrating situations...
I simply love the way you've rhymed 'thought' with 'fraught'. That is superb and not something many would think to use. To the best of my knowledge it's original and ultra cool ...
You and my sister would get on brilliantly. She has 3 dogs; Biscuit, Daisy and Lady. My mum has; Misty. All are quite insane and utterly loveable and everyone of them think I'm some sort of two-legged tin-opener. Really fun pets dogs. They bring out the comedy and humour in us all. I can't wait to get a transfer out of this flat I'm in to a bungalow. I too intend to get a puppy...Truly wrote: This is a very silly one, but Psi said he liked the rhythm of it...
Puppies
Cuddly, snugly bundles of scrummy
Squidgy and lovable, slightly damp nuzzles
Want to inhale them like sweet smell of honey
Cuddly, snugly bundles of scrummy
Silky and fluffy and soft as a bunny
Snuffly noses and whiskery muzzles
Cuddly, snugly bundles of scrummy
Squidgy and lovable, slightly damp nuzzles
I am not at all obsessed by my hounds, honest
As for the poem you've written above. It's definitely a doggie/puppie owner's piece and I would imagine it would be delightful to a great many readers ...
I don't know if Psi's told ya, but we do all sorts of cool animation GIF designs here (amongst other things). If you have a digital camera and take a few pictures of your puppies, we can design a cool signature image for you to use on here and other online communities and forums you visit. Free of charge of course. If you want one made, put a 'flea' (sorry, couldn't resist that one) in Psi's ear and he'll give you my email details so you can send your images as attachments...
Oh, and I've been rambling like a loon to everyone about an hilarious mockumentary movie called; Best In Show, which is about the contestants in the American equivalent to Crufts. Psi has a copy on DVD, so give him a gentle dig in the ribs and ask him to press 'play'...
Thanks for sharing your writing Truly. Great work mate ...
Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.
ASIN B00L1RS0UI
My writing is not covered by Creative Commons policy and may not be republished without permission. All rights reserved. All Sensitize © Arts sponsorship donations and postal inquiries to:
Louis P. Burns
42 Farland Way
DERRY
N. Ireland.
BT48 0RS
Telephone (UK): 028 71219225
Click here to Join Sensitize © Arts via Facebook or to contact the site owner: Louis P. Burns aka Lugh with any forum hosting or site related inquiries.
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.
ASIN B00L1RS0UI
My writing is not covered by Creative Commons policy and may not be republished without permission. All rights reserved. All Sensitize © Arts sponsorship donations and postal inquiries to:
Louis P. Burns
42 Farland Way
DERRY
N. Ireland.
BT48 0RS
Telephone (UK): 028 71219225
Click here to Join Sensitize © Arts via Facebook or to contact the site owner: Louis P. Burns aka Lugh with any forum hosting or site related inquiries.
-
- human rights activist & writer
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2007 1:26 am
- Location: hemel hempstead, england
- Contact:
- Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
- site owner, media producer & writer
- Posts: 2186
- Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2006 7:32 am
- Location: Derry, Ireland
- Contact:
You're very welcome Truly ...Truly wrote:Thanks very much for all your feedback and compliments
Nice one ...Truly wrote:I'll hopefulyl be back tomorrow, to leave a longer reply
Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.
ASIN B00L1RS0UI
My writing is not covered by Creative Commons policy and may not be republished without permission. All rights reserved. All Sensitize © Arts sponsorship donations and postal inquiries to:
Louis P. Burns
42 Farland Way
DERRY
N. Ireland.
BT48 0RS
Telephone (UK): 028 71219225
Click here to Join Sensitize © Arts via Facebook or to contact the site owner: Louis P. Burns aka Lugh with any forum hosting or site related inquiries.
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.
ASIN B00L1RS0UI
My writing is not covered by Creative Commons policy and may not be republished without permission. All rights reserved. All Sensitize © Arts sponsorship donations and postal inquiries to:
Louis P. Burns
42 Farland Way
DERRY
N. Ireland.
BT48 0RS
Telephone (UK): 028 71219225
Click here to Join Sensitize © Arts via Facebook or to contact the site owner: Louis P. Burns aka Lugh with any forum hosting or site related inquiries.
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