A Dawning by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh © 2008.

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A Dawning by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh © 2008.

Post by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh »

a dawning
by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh © 2008. All rights reserved.

"oh" was all I could say
recalling lastnight's fun
letting it in
letting it run
letting it lay

"so this is gay."

"eh?"

"nothing
go back to sleep"

sheets ruffle
springs squeak

'I could stay.'

save the floorboard's creak
and the jangle of coins in my pocket
I leave in silence...


EDIT at 15.47 - 22nd January, 2008. Tense needed tweaking in first and last stanzas.

a dawning
by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh © 2008. All rights reserved.

"oh" was all I could say
recalling the night before's fun
letting it in
letting it run
letting it lay

"so this is gay."

"eh?"

"nothing
go back to sleep"

sheets ruffled
springs squeaked

I could've stayed
but I left in silence
save the floorboard's creak
and the jangle of coins in my pocket...


Following a great critique by Delph_Ambi of this piece on Mike Daniels' Poetry Worshops, I have renamed the piece above simply; Aubade. This is a based upon a suggestion from Delph and I fully accept it as a better title...

To read the amended piece. Please click here.

Cheers :D ...
Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.

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