Knock me down with a feather

[joanne chapman]

I noticed last night that a family of starlings have moved into my fathers loft.

I phoned the RSPB today to ask for some advise on moving them as I do not want to cause them any harm.

I was referred on to the RSPCA. When I finally got through I explained the situation that they were causing damage but I love animals and so don't want to cause any harm when moving them.

I was told that I can't evict them, they must leave of their own free will. If I do move them or the nest I will face a £5,000 cruelty fine.
If I can prove the damage they are causing then I can apply for a court order to move them.

I was gob-smacked. They then asked my for my dad's address, yes right I'm gonna do that.

So I might write to the RSPB and ask them for rent, being as its a semi-detached 3 bed house they would be looking at a few bob.

Now, I have to go visit them everyday to see if they have moved out.
My mum was pissing herself, she said 'oh well you can't just love animals when they look cute'!

I never knew birds have squatters' rights, I hope I don't get in trouble with the council for having a loft conversion without having permission.

[Louis P. Burns aka Lugh]

I noticed last night that a family of starlings have moved into my fathers loft.

I phoned the RSPB today to ask for some advise on moving them as I do not want to cause them any harm.

I was referred on to the RSPCA. When I finally got through I explained the situation that they were causing damage but I love animals and so don't want to cause any harm when moving them.

I was told that I can't evict them, they must leave of their own free will. If I do move them or the nest I will face a £5,000 cruelty fine.
If I can prove the damage they are causing then I can apply for a court order to move them.

I was gob-smacked. They then asked my for my dad's address, yes right I'm gonna do that.

So I might write to the RSPB and ask them for rent, being as its a semi-detached 3 bed house they would be looking at a few bob.

Now, I have to go visit them everyday to see if they have moved out.
My mum was pissing herself, she said 'oh well you can't just love animals when they look cute'!

I never knew birds have squatters' rights, I hope I don't get in trouble with the council for having a loft conversion without having permission.

Not to mention the sub-letting issues the Council could raise...

Starlings are like buskers though. Always getting moved along by the Police because they can't sing and damage the environment, acoustically...

Have you considered hiring the Mafia? They're discreet and the cops turn a blind eye to them...