SENSITIZE ©

Posted: **Wed Mar 01, 2006 11:54 am**

PRICK..!
By Louis P. Burns akaLugh © 2005

Peter Piper pricked a peck of pickled peppers.
If Peter Piper pricked a peck of pickled peppers.
Where's the prick that pickles peppers
and Peter Piper's pecker..?

Debate among yourselves via the multiple choice answers in the above poll. Or at length with the author on this thread.

Be advised. This could turn into utter chaos..!

Posted: **Thu Mar 02, 2006 1:27 am**

It has to be how big is the pickled pecker, I'm a woman.

Posted: **Thu Mar 02, 2006 2:30 am**

What are ye askin' me for..? I only wrote the feckin' thing..!

It's those pricks 'Peter Piper and the pepper pickler' you should be asking..!

It's not my fault if this develops into one of those 'gender-based, mad bastards' of an online debate* on pickled peckers, and also bearing in mind the whole pepper pickling process and any actual or subsequent shrinkage.

I know my rights..!

Besides, aren't women always saying 'size doesn't matter'..?

Ha..!

* (although this would be funny as fuck and widely encouraged).

Posted: **Thu Mar 02, 2006 8:01 am**

Lugh wrote:What are ye askin' me for..? I only wrote the feckin' thing..!

It's those pricks 'Peter Piper and the pepper pickler' you should be asking..!

It's not my fault if this develops into one of those 'gender-based, mad bastards' of an online debate* on pickled peckers, and also bearing in mind the whole pepper pickling process and any actual or subsequent shrinkage.

I know my rights..!

Besides, aren't women always saying 'size doesn't matter'..?

Anyone that says size don't matter must be talking to some-one small or just telling lies... or with a small one.

Only a man would note the subsequent shrinkage.

Ha..!

* (although this would be funny as fuck and widely encouraged).

Posted: **Thu Mar 02, 2006 12:51 pm**

jo wrote:
Lugh wrote:What are ye askin' me for..? I only wrote the feckin' thing..!

It's those pricks 'Peter Piper and the pepper pickler' you should be asking..!

It's not my fault if this develops into one of those 'gender-based, mad bastards' of an online debate* on pickled peckers, and also bearing in mind the whole pepper pickling process and any actual or subsequent shrinkage.

I know my rights..!

Besides, aren't women always saying 'size doesn't matter'..?

Anyone that says size don't matter must be talking to some-one small or just telling lies... or with a small one.

Only a man would note the subsequent shrinkage.

Ha..!

* (although this would be funny as fuck and widely encouraged).

* (although this would be funny as fuck and widely encouraged).

And only a woman would include herself in what I said when she quoted me

.

(chuckles)

Men do have minds of their own ye know dear..!

It's true...

I keep mine in a large * glass jar of vinegar on the top shelf of my fridge. It's into music and taking the piss out of lettuce.

It's quite happy...

Ha again..!

* (size does matter)

Posted: **Thu Mar 02, 2006 6:28 pm**

Mmm, minds of your own you say? (!)

Not much good if it's pickled on top of your fridge, well is it?

Ok, I fucked up my last post, it was early, so sue me- that Irish accent didn't suit me any way.

Now, Is Peter Piper the prick that pickled peppers and did the pickled pepper come in contact with the missing pecker?
Could Peter Piper also be responsible for the pickle jar on the top shelf of your fridge?
Is the jar of pickles and (or) peckers for Christmas, if it is did he include the seasonal spices? If it is for christmas, who will get the pickle and who will get the pecker?

Who pissed on your lettuce?

Posted: **Thu Mar 02, 2006 8:17 pm**

jo wrote:Mmm, minds of your own you say? (!)

Not much good if it's pickled on top of your fridge, well is it?

No. You've misread my mind

I said I keep my mind in a large * glass jar on the top shelf of my fridge. Anyone who knows me knows I keep my feet and hairbrush on the top of the fridge. Cuh..! Pah..! Tut..!

jo wrote:Ok, I fucked up my last post, it was early, so sue me- that Irish accent didn't suit me any way.

Very true. You write with a terrible Irish accent..! It's a fuckin' outrage missus..! You'se English are all the same..! Stayin' over there. Stealing our accents..! Fascists..! I've a good mind to write to my MP..!

Dear moi MP,

Oi need representay-shon..! Dare's an English womin on moi forum who wroites wit da worst Oirish accent Oi've evvar heard.

Oi tink she'd be after takin' over da world and Oi'm writin' to tell ye Oi'm outraged..!

Pat sends her love and yer Mudder's got shingles.

Aa'll da best.

Me. Sure 'n' boi Gad sir! Grand wedder we're gettin'..! Oh t'iz..!

jo wrote:Now, Is Peter Piper the prick that pickled peppers and did the pickled pepper come in contact with the missing pecker?

See..? It's getting complicated now innit..? I told ya this would happen

To the very best of my knowledge Peter Piper is indeed a Prick. Well, I mean, anyone who pricks pickled pepper can't be all there in the head... He has to be a few gerkins * short of a full jar..! Know what I mean..?

The Pecker's not missing..! It's Pickled..! Pay attention and stop picking yer nose..!

jo wrote:Could Peter Piper also be responsible for the pickle jar on the top shelf of your fridge?

No. He's a character in some other wanker's tongue twister of a poem. I stopped him getting a kicking from the entire cast of Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

Sorriest day of my life.

He sings the most heartbreaking songs about lost pickled peckers and keeps the whole neighbourhood depressed. He makes guest appearances in my poems and I feed him ink through a straw on his days off.

jo wrote:Is the jar of pickles and (or) peckers for Christmas,

What are ye askin' me for..? I do this voluntarily and don't even get hot water for my cuppa soups..! I had considered striking once then remembered I was the boss...

Christmas. Yeah... Probably...

jo wrote:if it is did he include the seasonal spices?

Four. I'm eating the last one now. Tastes like cinnamon but there's bubbles coming outta my ears..!

jo wrote:If it is for christmas, who will get the pickle and who will get the pecker?

I know that one..! No wait. Dammit..! It's gone..!

jo wrote:Who pissed on your lettuce?

Eh..?

Agh they didn't..?

Did they..?

That's twice this week..!

Let it be known from this day forth:-

All Tomatoes Are Bastards..!

SING..!

A T A B..! All Tomatoes Are Bastards..!

A T A B..! All Tomatoes Are Bastards..!

A T A B..! All Tomatoes Are Bastards..!

* See..? Size does matter..! Ha..!

Posted: **Fri Mar 03, 2006 1:06 am**

Im so glad yours is a large one, shame it's pickled. Not much good now I suppose. Nevermind always good to look at though. Do you have to wear those stilts and flippers to get to it?

Mines small and only pickled on Friday Soho nights...mmm...14 days to go..tehe

I can't help picking my nose, still looking for the marching powder I lost up there a few years ago.

Posted: **Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:55 pm**

jo wrote:Do you have to wear those stilts and flippers to get to it?

Frequently. I'm contractually bound to wear them on wednesdays and fake fur coats with flip-flops on every second friday.

jo wrote:Mines small and only pickled on Friday Soho nights...mmm...14 days to go..tehe

Lucky sod..!

jo wrote:I can't help picking my nose, still looking for the marching powder I lost up there a few years ago.

A bloke once asked me if I picked my nose when I was younger. I said yes to which he replied; "Ya could've picked a better one"..!

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2006 12:05 am**

Am I lucky for the small one or going to soho on the 17th?

I think 'Old Compton Street' can't be beaten on a Friday night.

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2006 3:20 am**

jo wrote:Am I lucky for the small one or going to soho on the 17th?

I haven't got a clue lol... Are you referring to St. Patrick's Day on the 17th? I've never worked that one out either. St. Patrick was apparently either French or Welsh... Fucker..! Comin' over here. Stealing our Paganism, chasing our snakes. He should be locked up wae a crucifix and three tone deaf nuns. That'd fix him..!

jo wrote:I think 'Old Compton Street' can't be beaten on a Friday night.

Sounds cool...