Upstate Renegade Productions/Sensitize © Equipment Wishlist:
28" Hanns-G HG281DP Widescreen Monitor
Olympus ME-51S Stereo Microphone x 4
Sennheiser HD215 Closed Back Headphone x 2
Edirol R-09 High Resolution Digital Voice Recorder 24-bit WAVE/MP3
or;
Welcome to: UPSTATE RENEGADE PRODUCTIONS © Edition One - October 2008. Editor - Louis P. Burns aka Lugh © All rights reserved.
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Howling Laughter In The Night.
By Louis P. Burns aka Lugh © 2007. All rights reserved
They continued walking in silence. When they arrived at the sheds, both were visibly shaken. Amid the bedlum of so many reindeer it was difficult to think. Rudolf grabbed a coffee then sat down on the sofa. He watched as Prancer hooked up to chat with Dancer about The Coral and David Gray's latest performance on Later With Jools Holland. He envied how the young reindeer all managed to remain so cheerful. Vixen left the company of Blitzen, Comet and Dasher. She made her way to the sofa. 'You ok hun?' Rudolf smiled uncomfortably. Aye luv. Am fine, but it's been a cold and very long day. How's you mae darlin?' 'A bit bladdered if I'm honest Red. A've been on the gargle wae Cupid all day. He's a right slapper. Knows everyone! We were making loads of dirty phonecalls. Takin' the piss outta the other catalogue companies and calling numbers at random. Gawd, he's a scream. I don't care what the lads think of him. I love him. Sooooo funny. E're. Wotcha think of my hair then Red? Is it me? Huh?' She turned her head to the ceiling. Her highlights caught in the multiple glares pouring off the glitterball. 'Oh aye babes. You look fookin' gorgeous. If I were a eighty years younger a'd be on ya like a shot.' 'Why Red. You absolute smoothie. A girl could very easily fall in love with a wise old reindeer like you? You always know what to say. She giggled and wiggled then turned on the sofa, thrusting her ample bossom forward then up towards the old rebel. You make me flustered, happy and hot everytime we meet. All us girls in Lapland love ya hunni. She reached forward producing some mistletoe and kissed him tenderly on the lips. Mwah. As she stood and fixed her skirt she batted her eyelids and winked. Maybe later toots, yeah?' She turned and walked away. Rudolf watched her butt as she made her way off, then wiped sweat from his brow and loosened his collar. Lost in lust for Vixen he then remembered the awful, dawning knowledge that all of this could turn quite nasty very quickly. He stood, fixed his waistcoat then gulped the rest of his coffee. As Donner took to the makeshift stage they'd built that summer everyone applauded then chanted; 'Dee Jay Donner! Dee Jay Donner!' over and over again. Canned foghorns sounded and referee whistles screamed. The opening bassline of Where I End And You Begin by Radiohead roared from the stolen catalogue speakers draped in yellow table cloths, as the sound-activated lasers hurled beams of concentrated light above them all. Rudolf nearly tripped over the dry-ice machine as he moved through the dancing throng of reindeer out into the cold air of winter. Something was wrong. Very wrong. He just knew it...
In the shadow of the shed Cupid watched as Rudolf paced back and forth. He sneered and pointed his mini iPod to take a few pictures, dropped his joint roach in the snow then forwarded the images as attachments to Santa. Had anyone looked up, they'd have noticed the twinkle of a satellite changing direction in the crystal clear starlit sky.
Thousands of miles away. In a cave furnished with the latest wireless technology. A group of dedicated but extremely nervous hackers caught every email and image which they bounced and re-routed into a bank of unregistered databases and FTP's across the globe. Their master chuckled and swept cheese cracker crumbs from his black thermal fleece. His face lit by the green info cruising at an ungodly rate up on his monitor. He smiled and sipped heartily from his goblet of red wine. A large Chinese man threw bowler hats that stuck into all the walls as a shark's fin edged silently through the water of a massive tank. Lone Wolf loved it when a plan came together. His howling laughter echoed off the jagged rocks, down the cold stone corridors, up and out through the floor tiles of the gent's public convenience, out and across the park into the beep and roadrage of cars and buses tail-backed in Hampstead Heath...
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Thanks :)
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